


tumult

by fiestatacos



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: M/M, Pre-Canon, i just love pre-canon nostalgia and we dont have many fics of it, takano and feelings, takano-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 15:39:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8495857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiestatacos/pseuds/fiestatacos
Summary: Takano's feelings on the subject of one Onodera Ritsu, throughout the times.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick note, this is unbeta'd.

To be fairly honest with you, Saga Masamune didn't exactly know what to do with Ritsu. Sure, he'd had girlfriends before, but was dating a guy the same? What was he even supposed to do? Ritsu loved him, didn't he? (Or was it more of an infatuation?)

Even with that, Saga didn't feel anything in return. He'd never really understood love in the first place, anyway. Even though he was no stranger to dating, he had never had a girlfriend for more than a few weeks or a month, breaking up with them shortly because he just never felt any emotional attachment to them. So what was to say that his relationship with Ritsu would be any different?

It was more than likely this would end up like all of his other relationships had, the initial excitement fizzing out and Saga feeling more and more distant from the girl as she became more attached to him. He really didn't have any hopes that this would turn out any better.

-

It had started with small things, like looking at a book and wondering if Ritsu would enjoy reading it or contemplating whether it would be awkward to invite Ritsu to his house (they were dating after all, weren't they?)

Then it evolved into things like wondering if Ritsu needed help with his studies (his math was pretty bad, to say the least) and looking forward to the time after school where they could just sit in the library together and enjoy each other's company, reading or studying in a comfortable silence.

Soon it had come to the point where, try as he might to deny it, he was in love with Ritsu, the boy that had always loved him unconditionally. He loved how Ritsu was always so earnest, so naive and innocent in his youth and yet so determined when it came to loving Saga with all his heart. He loved the shine in Ritsu's eyes when he was rambling about a good book he had read or an incident that had happened that day or a brilliant author that he had found. He loved Ritsu's warmth against him, especially when they were sitting together in the library or spooning together in Saga's bed, giving Saga a warm sense of domesticity which he never had.

He had never loved someone so much before, but hell, it felt good to be able to give himself entirely to someone who loved him just as much in return.

 

-

So when Ritsu asked if Saga really did love him, all he could do was laugh, because how was the answer to that not obvious enough already?

-

The first few days after Ritsu's disappearance was the hardest. He had returned to all the places he had brought Ritsu, hoping to see a flash of brown hair and a glint of green eyes behind a bookshelf, in a restaurant booth, in a bookstore, whatever it took to let Saga know that Ritsu wasn't avoiding him, hadn't left him forever, just when Saga was beginning to enjoy his relationship with Ritsu. This was all a bad dream, a nightmare. When he woke up, Ritsu would definitely be there beside him, in his bed, right?

 

 

 

It was neither a bad dream or a nightmare. When Saga woke up the next morning, the other side of the bed was cold.

 

 

 

He didn't know what else to do anymore. As the heartache had started to set in, it was unbearable. He constantly wondered what he had done wrong to cause Ritsu to suddenly abandon him.

He had asked everyone he knew whether they had any information where Oda Ritsu was. They didn't know anything. It was all as if Ritsu had never existed. It was as if Ritsu was just an illusion that Saga had conjured up in his loneliness as if someone would have loved him. But he knew that couldn't have been right. Had Ritsu really been an illusion, why would his name have been under Saga's in the checkout slips on the books in the library? Why would his presence have been so real, in all of the corners in his room?

 

 

Saga wondered, was this what it was like for Ritsu to pine after him? To have someone you knew you could never have, to wish for them to be by your side and to always long to be able to cherish them and shower them with affection. It was hard to go about his daily life, wondering how Ritsu was doing, seeing Ritsu in all the small details, searching out all the books in the library that Ritsu had once borrowed, if only just to look at his name and reassure himself that Ritsu was indeed not an illusion, but had once been by Saga's side and had loved him. He tried his hardest to hold onto whatever few memories he had of Ritsu in those months that they had been together, fervently remembering all of Ritsu's quirks and his bright smile.

It would be fine if he could move on, but every time he had tried to start another relationship, he was reminded of Ritsu and how they just weren't him, and he never felt the same attraction he'd had with Ritsu with them.

-

Perhaps he would be okay with pining after someone he would never have again if he hadn't known that said person had a fiancée. Add that to the revelation that he wasn't even related to the person he called his father and he was all too happy to start anew with the name Takano.

He would forget Ritsu this time around, he was determined. As far as he knew, Ritsu would be married off to a nice wife and he'd never stood a chance in the first place, left to pine pitifully after what he could never stand to gain. It would be better to put it all in the past, so he wouldn't be affected as deeply by the eventual heartbreak that was going to happen anyway.

-

By the time he was promoted to editor-in-chief of Emerald, the heartaches had lessened and he'd rarely ever thought about Ritsu anymore. Sure, he was still looking for him, but a lot less committed to it with all his job responsibilities. Perhaps that was for the better, so he could then move on.

Speaking of moving on, the monthly deadline was coming up really soon, though Erika-sama was being uncooperative and never finishing her manga on a decent schedule as usual. He'd probably have to wrestle the manuscript out of Erika-sama at this point. There was also a newbie who was going to join the department today as well, and he was pretty grouchy about having to train the new employee with the deadline so close. Maybe he'd pawn the newbie off to Mino or Kisa instead.

 

 

_"Nice to meet you. My name is Onodera Ritsu."_

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you enjoyed that and have a good day/night!
> 
> I've always loved fics where there was a lot of character study, and tried my hand at one!


End file.
